Forever, and After

I sit on the ground…. the earth pulses beneath me.

The wind blows my hair. 

I breathe in. 

Look around. 

Listen. 

As beautiful as it all is, I can hardly fathom the periods this place has endured to make it suitable for me to sit right here, right now. Breathing in this oxygen. 

The violence this earth has accepted, even welcomed… and here we are.

Me breathing in and exhaling, is its gift to me…

I watch as a Butterfly floats about on the breeze. 

She is whimsical and flirtatious in her movements, coming close then ascending my grasp…

I turn my eyes slowly from the sun and sky until they hit green. 

An old Tree branches out above me, reaching its long sturdy arms in an attempt to thank the sun with a hug.  I wish it could tell me its stories… 

And I just sit and stare. Words, Vocabulary, Language—- it all escapes me….This is how I worship now.  

The warmth forces my eyes closed. Tears fall. I am here, getting to do THIS… 

Sometimes, my mortality and the impermanence of it all is overwhelming and I’m silenced to tears. 

 I hear the lyrics in my mind, “Like violence, you have me forever and after, like violence-you kill me, forever and after.”

I think on the relationship that is time,  and the earth, and humanity and it is a violent affair indeed, it always has been.  And, it does have me,  forever and even after. 

The very particles of my being are paradoxical, arising from the stuff of Matter and Antimatter, and just as the conditions battled it out for us to evolve, so too, will we return to that state of chaos after our galaxy collides with another. 

Our dust, will be the beginning of another’s evolution and that is what is meant by eternity…

I am grateful, I am at peace, and I am paradoxically,  contained violence. Forever, and after…

Thanks for reading….

*** lyrics belong to Blink 182’s “Violence.”