A Reclamation Of Sorts, Musings On Womanhood In The 21st Century
Writer. I write to discover who I am. 📓Enneagram 4/sx, 🖤 (wallowing in my self-induced darkness is where it’s at, yall🎉) Gemini♊️ Lover of Humans, especially those that I created. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Rebuilding after deconstructing from fundamentalist Christianity. ☯️Lover of paganism, pantheism, Quakerism, the Divine Feminine, and the Stars.🔮💎 Depending on the day and moon cycles, I’m landing somewhere between atheism, agnosticism, and universalism with faeries and gnomes. 🍄🧚🏼♀️Reader of all the things.📚 Avid Skeptic and Questioner without solid answers. 🔍Homeschool/public school enthusiast, former public school teacher, current homeschooling mom✏️Unapologetic 🏳️🌈 Ally. She/her pronouns. 💜Believer of Science. 🧬Wife of a damn fine man, damn it-the boy is FINE. ♋️🤣Grateful to be here for my moment on the timeline of life. 🌳
My Sister, Steph, over at The Irresponsible Blogger, wrote a bomb-ass piece that tells our story. Inspired by 21 Pilots lyrics in Jumpsuit, I feel grateful to all who’ve been brave enough to heal the wounds religion beats into our being… listen to the song while you read and if you need anyone…
~~~~~~~~A poem about where I’m at as a newly-turned 35 year old!!~~~~~~~~
THE TEMPLE OF ME
Looking across my body, a mosaic of sea glass tops my skin, And I ask you now to sit with me and Drink me in, Drink me in, Drink me in
My eyes are still that vibrant green, holding sparkling light within. No, those aren’t crows feet, that’s where Sophia left Her print. Can you handle who I am now and Drink me in, Drink me in, Drink me in
There’s this thinking crease across my forehead, and it makes me share a grin, Cause once I thought I knew it all and you loved the woman in me then, but can you make more room to love the woman I’m becomin’? Won’t you come and sit with me and Drink me in, Drink me in, Drink me in
My smile still lights the blazes, of your direct attention, and those laugh lines now make their way up, to my dancing eyes within. And I ask you to always make me laugh and Drink me in, Drink me in Drink me in
Have you noticed my shoulders and arms are stronger, then they’ve ever been? Because I learned to carry the wounds of my sisters, of my fellow women. Can you spare a minute to listen and Drink me in, Drink me in, Drink me in
When You see my my bare breasts fireside, do you breathe praise for the flow they’ve given, how my very own body was the tree of life for our youngest children- take a moment and honor the sacred and Drink me in, Drink me in, Drink me in
Now I have a softened tummy, rounded hips, and marked up skin, Call me your Goddess Persephone, I nourished your seed and brought about its blossomin’, Can you sit and worship me for me and Drink me in, Drink me in, Drink me in
And I’ve always had those legs you loved, they are strong but not thick or thin, and now they’ve carried 5 human lives, can you grasp the magnitude of my body’s benevolence? Can you come and help me carry on and Drink me in, Drink me in, Drink me
And I’ve manifested this rounded ass in my womanhood transfiguration, yes-she is bouncier now, than my teenage version. And you just cannot help but touch, you say she demands your concentration. Will you always speak with adoration and Drink me in Drink me in Drink me in
And when we’re in the shadows and you gaze upon my 35 year old skin, your eyes light up like candles and I think that’s my personal heaven. I am a divine being, made of earth-water-fire-and wind, and I deserve to be on your altar as you Drink me in, Drink me in, Drink me in
Most of all, more than anything—-you’ve watched my mind and heart expand, and you listen attentively about my evolution that was completely unplanned. But you don’t run off fearfully, you pour your cup, listen, and grin, and as you sip your coffee, you Drink me in, Drink me in, Drink me in
By: Stacy Johnson, June 6-8, 2019 (Mother, cycle day 12-14)
At this point in my life, church has me jacked up——-The role that patriarchy has played in the Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam) and its dominion over the world is indignant and needs to be explored by not only women, but men. If you practice ANY of these religions and have not done the hardy work of understanding how patriarchy has helped in silencing, erasing, and controlling women- this is a call to do just that.
Women complicit in the pain and wounds that patriarchy subjugates on other women are abundant, especially those who participate in these religions (many religious women unintentionally support their own cages). Therefore, we must do this hard work alone, because sadly, folks are too comfortable to make changes that can benefit women.
So, let me speak some truth to the nature of the feminine wisdom. For far too long, women have been made to carry the burden of the Eden Myth. But are you aware that in the earliest of days the serpent was a symbol for that of feminine wisdom and goddesses? Yes, snakes were thought of in relation to the innate divinity that women alone captured. Can you see the beginning of patriarchy unfold, as the writer of Genesis uses Eve and a serpent (her own internal wisdom) to be the fall of man?? Even WAY back then, finding a way to pin sin, death, and darkness on the shoulders of women ultimately leading an entire world view to deem women in need of a man’s guidance. How utterly TERRIFYING, that such a fear of womanly wisdom lingered even then….
Follow me, because of such ideals embedded in “holy” scriptures women have been in roles of submission and servitude for damn near all of modern humanity. When we look to the Bible which was written by Men for Men, we have to look HARD to find the female voice, because it’s almost non-existent. Even our modern hymns and liturgies, prayers, and creeds flow with male pronouns. This is not fair. And yet women are so numb to it, they hardly notice….
But, enter Jesus who was mostly egalitarian by nature. Women chose to even fund his travels. After his death, women were full participants in leading, teaching, guiding all-yes-even men. It stayed that way for close to 200 years. Until Paul’s epistle of 2nd Timothy makes the rounds. It is at this point, based on Paul-a recovering fundamentalist Jew, whose entire world view was wrapped up in women being 2nd class citizens and frequently abused and mistreated, shares in his letter that women should keep silent, neither teach-preach-or lead men. Paul never met Jesus, Paul did not ever see that Jesus had been equal in his treatment of all. And yet we apply his words to our modern day world-view, BACK UP- Paul!
Then on the timeline of Christianity, things get political and ‘Following Jesus’ for women, takes a completely submissive role. From church councils all the way to home worship, women would become the behind the scenes handmaids. I cringe when I read the words the Church Fathers spoke over us… but here we are perpetuating a religion that doesn’t care to even speak kindly about us.
Because of this, most religious women have cut themselves out from the voice of the Divine Feminine. ‘She’ will try to rouse us, shining light on glimpses of patriarchy in our own lives, but we silence her. Often, women don’t go looking for their Voice as they are used to the roles patriarchy has established for them and because it is believed woman should be non-confrontational. Ever noticed how men and women who implore patriarchal roles dislike powerful and vocal women??
There are sleeping women- those who will not even attempt to believe there is anything wrong with or more to the story than what we currently live out. There are those who are tossing and turning, wrestling with the reality that they hold their own worth and wisdom. And there are women who are awake—SCREAMING to let us partake in EVERY TASK that we so desire with BLATANT EQUALITY, we have found our inherent voice and our worth—-the voice of our Feminine Ancestors rattling the very marrow of our bones.
I ask you now to please, please do this work, the work required to dismantle these norms in your own world, not only for yourselves but our children. Sue Monk Kidd once said, “It’s a peculiar thing, isn’t it? How women can prefer the safety of cages to the hazards of freedom.”
Until all can look at women and serpents and think, “Beautiful Goddesses full of the Wisdom of the Ages” and not “lust, temptation, sin, death,” women will forever be in cages.
Thanks for reading, friends. We must STOP allowing religion to pit woman against herself, against her own value, worth, and wisdom. Allow yourself to see it for what it is. And, if you partake in a structure that props up patriarchy as a norm, please invest in extensive research, although it will potentially unravel your world view. This is the work that MUST be done. We cannot settle for comfortable—- we deserve more. We deserve Truth.
💜🖤💜 ***This was written based on the notes I took while reading, Dance of the Dissident Daughter, by Sue Monk Kidd—— required reading, Friends.
I sit on the ground…. the earth pulses beneath me.
The wind blows my hair.
I breathe in.
As beautiful as it all is, I can hardly fathom the periods this place has endured to make it suitable for me to sit right here, right now. Breathing in this oxygen.
The violence this earth has accepted, even welcomed… and here we are.
Me breathing in and exhaling, is its gift to me…
I watch as a Butterfly floats about on the breeze.
She is whimsical and flirtatious in her movements, coming close then ascending my grasp…
I turn my eyes slowly from the sun and sky until they hit green.
An old Tree branches out above me, reaching its long sturdy arms in an attempt to thank the sun with a hug. I wish it could tell me its stories…
And I just sit and stare. Words, Vocabulary, Language—- it all escapes me….This is how I worship now.
The warmth forces my eyes closed. Tears fall. I am here, getting to do THIS…
Sometimes, my mortality and the impermanence of it all is overwhelming and I’m silenced to tears.
I hear the lyrics in my mind, “Like violence, you have me forever and after, like violence-you kill me, forever and after.”
I think on the relationship that is time, and the earth, and humanity and it is a violent affair indeed, it always has been. And, it does have me, forever and even after.
The very particles of my being are paradoxical, arising from the stuff of Matter and Antimatter, and just as the conditions battled it out for us to evolve, so too, will we return to that state of chaos after our galaxy collides with another.
Our dust, will be the beginning of another’s evolution and that is what is meant by eternity…
I am grateful, I am at peace, and I am paradoxically, contained violence. Forever, and after…
Um, there isn’t one??? That is a horse-size pill in the hard pills to swallow conundrums of life. It’s actually one of the toughest things I’ve had to reconcile to myself after moving out of god giving me my purpose, is realizing that by simply BEING HERE on Earth, I have purpose.
It’s not some “in the grand scheme of things” shenanigans, it’s not some “it all makes sense in the future” problem to solve. No, I am here and that is alone, what gives me meaning.
I have chosen to further give myself meaning by procreating, thus moving my genes further down the time-line of history. But I’m learning to be okay with knowing there isn’t some philosophical conclusion to the meaning of humanity. Simply put, we GET to be here and that is AMAZING in and of itself.
Below, I had to document how precious it is to pass my genes along. He kept looking at me and I just had that primal maternal moment of recognizing that evolutionarily, he is why I am here… There is one minute that passes between pics and then he sleeps.