This is a big deal. My hubs wanted me to have drinks with him. Being a former fundamentalist Christian, I still carry guilt over any alcohol consumption….and leaving my children for any length of time, but tonight I said, “Yes! Let’s do it!”
So we went to a lil joint that had live music and food and drinks. I had 3 Blue Hawaiians and while I enjoy a Crown and Coke on football night, this was different. I felt dizzy, light-headed even, giggly too. Thought I might just tumble down the stairs til my husband told me there weren’t any stairs, lol. Needless to say, I had him rolling more than once.
Most of all, I take away from the experience, how very excited I am about aging. I’m in my thirties and still not quite brave enough to dance to the live band. But!!!! There was a group of 50-70 year old ladies getting down. They asked me to join and I could not gather the gumption. It was beautiful to see them letting loose and showing us younger folk what a good time really looks like. From Sweet Home Alabama, to Jessie’s Girl, to Billie Jean, they didn’t care—- they let their hair down and their hips sway. I want to be like them someday soon. I really really wanna be like them.
feathers?
I’m still learning how to let go of the guilt associated with having a good time that Christianity inherently places inside you. I’m still learning that it’s okay to “shake dat ass-“ even at 70, and that actually the best ass shakers were the 70 year olds. And I’m grateful for a husband and a sister who encourage me to live a little…
When the indoctrination came on in the form of a guilt-inducing whisper, I chose to silence it and just enjoy the moment with my husband, the music, and the drink. And that alone is a huge step in my letting go. Once upon a time I would have called that the Holy Spirit and I would’ve judged others who weren’t hearing that same call. Now I know better. Indoctrination is a tricky tricky liar, and I won’t let it fool me any longer.
Do you have any particular moments you recall, when you realized you were letting go of your indoctrinated belief systems? Share away!
Singing Over My Bones 
It’s been five years, and I still catch myself thinking christian. The biggest regrets people have are living life under the expectations of others. Dance baby! There is no innate morality in most of taboos we were indoctrinated with. Hell, I even wear my hat in the house now…Cool blog. I’ve been looking for something fresh and personal—nice work
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Thanks for commenting, Jim! I was SO close to dancing—- it won’t be long! 🤣 it is CRAZY what religion does to a brain. Sad and silly, at times. I’m grateful that curiousity helped nudge me onward about 5 years ago as well.
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Hi!
I didn’t have any one moment. I was raised Catholic but all along the way I would confront my parents with how certain things didn’t make sense. They couldn’t provide satisfactory answers and I felt deeply bored at mass. As soon as I hit 6th grade I refused to go to mass.
I think what saved me was my curiosity and my somewhat defiant nature. Perhaps it is my trust issues as well (there is a kind of trust element in faith).
PS: I’m 6’4”, 260 lbs and three drinks would kill me as well!!!
Good luck! May your hips sway to a song soon.
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I’m so happy you trusted your intuition early on! Way to use that noggin! Lololol! Thank you for reading💚
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