I was 11
In Grade 6
Unwanted moisture in my panties
From a body about to blossom
I wore a skirt
A shirt that zipped
Into the hall we pour
He was my age
16 in green though
In his group
See her shirt, “aww man, if I could just unzip it, I’d suck on them titties.”
.Suck on them titties.
But I was 11
But confused the most
Close my locker door
Hustle down the hall
Arms crossed over my chest
But there’s nothing to lick
I have buds, not breasts
I know that’s what this stage is called
My momma read a book to me
About what’s happening to my body
Did I just cause someone to lust
All by simply wearing a shirt
Did I sin, did I sin
Still a child
Crack in my soul
Some dark gets in
Never wore my favorite shirt
>>>>>>>>>>written by: Stacy Johnson, January 23rd, 2019, 10:53 am
This is simply a spoken word poem I wrote on my first experience of being sexualized that I can recall. Allowing myself to go back to these places, is a part of me identifying moments that brought shame and guilt that I’ve carried. While not the intention of the religion I was raised in, it was my internalization of it, none-the-less. I am reclaiming the parts of myself that I lost or let go of long ago. And this moment is one in which I’m calling out to my younger self, “This wasn’t your burden to carry baby girl.”
I have an 11 year old daughter, she is wild and strong. She would yell, “Fuck You,” to a boy speaking such over her. And I would applaud her.
7 thoughts on “Sexualized, a poem”
This hurts to read because I know this feeling. At such a young age, we were robbed of our innocence and trying so hard to make sense of it all. It does leave a scar.
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It is wild how deeply we carry these things. Heavy too. All we can do is make sure our daughters understand there is no place for carrying such darkness that they didn’t create.
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What a powerful poem and message. Thanks for sharing it.
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Thank you for appreciating it and for commenting.
Strong commentary on how girls are sexualized so young in our society. Powerful and deeply disturbing.
Thank you for commenting. It’s not surprising how dirty and shameful girls feel in their youth, all because of words—-words they didn’t even speak.
Very very true.